Things to Consider When Moving Across the Country for Love

December 8, 2017 / Posted in Before the Move
Anastasia Hill

Apart from being the next fashion icon, Anastasia is also a freelance writer and expert on moving (and packing clothes).

Love and relationships on its own can be complicated. Add relocation to the equation, and things become even more intricate. So, when it comes to moving across the country for love, there are so many issues to consider. Did you just get a fantastic job offer?

It will be of great help to be completely honest with yourself and decide whether it’s your job that truly makes you happy or it’s getting as much time as possible with your loved ones.
The most important question to ask yourself in every situation is how happy you truly are, so you need to do the same before considering long-distance relationship moving.

You might be forced to choose between your new career and love, and end up wondering about ways to stay with your partner after you move for a new job and career and settle in a new home in another state.

Not only do you have to think about all the things to consider when relocating for a job, but you also have to begin thinking about all the potential problems other than your career and how you’d solve them. You are whirling around in a stream of questions you don’t really like, such as: What is the success rate of long-distance relationships? How do you transition in such a situation? How do you know if it will work? And if you’re really pessimistic, you’re probably also wondering: When should you give up? You’re not sure how to cope with going away from friends, let alone your significant other. So, is moving for love when in a long-distance relationship a good idea even when it’s for a once-in-a-lifetime job offer?

But don’t be pessimistic. There is always a solution to maintain relationships – you just need to put in a lot of effort and prepare for this new period properly. So, let’s begin by exploring some matters that you and your loved one should discuss to help each other make the transition go more smoothly.


Questions to Ask About Long Distance Relationship Moving

Every life-changing decision requires careful thinking through and it is of particular importance when that decision is about to affect your boyfriend or girlfriend just as much as you alone. So, when you’re in a committed relationship and thinking about relocating without your boyfriend or girlfriend, the two of you should address some issues before you create a checklist, start packing and eventually schedule moving services. This will help you be able to maintain the same connection later on. If you did anything without the other one knowing about it, it would only spoil your relationship.

How Often Can You Visit Each Other?

We’re sure you don’t want to believe in it now, but there might be some truth in the old “out of sight, out of mind” in the sense that there is such thing as too much time between two visits. If you spend a lot of time apart from each other, that will affect both of you, it can even affect your mental health if you become depressed.

If you and your loved one live in the same city now, you’re probably used to seeing each other almost every day. In that case, even just a week apart might seem like an eternity. To make sure everything can work out, talk about your options and how often it is feasible to visit each other after the relocation. Be honest and tell each other what is too much for you and what period is tolerable.

How Do You Like the Idea of Video Calls for a Longer Period of Time?

Nowadays, it seems a lot easier to keep in touch with friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, or anyone else with the use of the high-speed Internet and all kinds of apps. But the question is, how comfortable you are with this type of communication for a long period before getting together again?

Discuss with your partner whether you’re okay with seeing them only via Skype because, truth be told, you’ll soon begin to miss the actual physical presence or anything tangible that reminds you of your loved one. So, even if you can’t possibly meet for, say, another month, it might be a good idea to exchange postcards or keep a shirt that smells like your partner.

How Will You Spend the Time You Have Together?

You will find it easier to deal with your upcoming separation if you start planning the future right away. It will help maintain your mental health, too, so that you don’t fall into depression when you’re away from all the people you care about for too long, only focused on your career. Instead of being sad that you’re leaving, think about those precious moments that you’ll spend together and what you want to do then, preferably, something new or things you both like doing.

When you’re apart most of the time, getting back together is an exciting moment and you want to spend every single second together and do everything you couldn’t in the meantime. But that can be a trap – don’t overplan the days you have together because that can only ruin your days together and affect your health. It can only make you stressed-out and ruin that weekend together instead of enjoying every moment.

For How Long Are You Going to Be Apart When You Move to the New City?

It’s good advice to talk about future plans right from the start to know where everything is going. This, too, is good for your mental health. If your move is just temporary, and you even plan to move in together after a while, you’ll both find it a lot easier to accept the current situation when you know for how long it is going to last. Even if you have to be gone for two whole years, knowing how long it is going to take is better than being apart for a couple of months but in constant anticipation.

Do You Trust Your Partner Enough to Be Able to Live in a Different City Without Anything Jeopardizing Your Love?

Here we come to a crucial question most don’t like to think about – do you really trust your partner enough to be okay about him or her relocating to another city alone? Can you really rely on your boyfriend or girlfriend to be there for you even if they’re not there physically when you need them? Will your beloved stick to your plans or just forget about something you’re looking forward to so much? And vice versa – do you fulfill your partner’s expectations?

Can you make things work even after you go to a new city and start a new life in another home, in a whole other state? Trust is the foundation of every relation, so without it, you are likely to fail no matter how close you are, let alone when you’re apart.

It is also of crucial importance to be able to be fully open with your loved one. No matter what happened to you, what you did or why you did it if there’s something troubling you, you should be able to share your troubles with your significant other. Even if you did something you’re not proud of and you feel bad about it, it’s important to be able to trust your loved one with a secret and get it off your chest.

happy couple
Think carefully before you decide to ask the question and consider whether you two can last in the years to come or you see yourself without that person in the future.

Decide What You Should Do Eventually – Get Married or Break Up and Look for a New Love

Believe it or not, it is quite common for people to find themselves in such a dilemma – should we spend the rest of our lives together and build a family or part our ways for good? Being apart for quite a while will certainly leave some kind of mark, but the question is, how deep a mark is it? Are you ready to work even harder to fix any issues you have and keep fighting for that person, or do you think it’s just not worth it? If you can’t see years to come and your future together, it’s better to let go than to keep prolonging that difficult situation and trying to maintain your relationship at all costs.

Do You and Your Chosen Person Really Share the Same Perspective on Life?

If you’re ever wondering whether you should propose or whether you’d say yes to the question when your boyfriend proposes, you need to stop to think about what you truly believe in, what things you find worthy in life, and where you find the meaning of everything we do.

If you both feel the same about such core questions and goals, there’s your answer – that person is a keeper, and your love is worth fighting for. When you have someone you love and you can share your deepest dreams and hopes with, you need to put in a lot of effort, as much as needed, to fight for them and not let anything spoil what you have.

When you’re stuck in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want the same stuff as you, that’s not good for your health - getting out of such a relationship will help you more than fighting for it.
If your partner doesn’t feel the same about the core life questions, it might be time to let go

Brace for the Separation and Look to the Future to Make Relationships Work Better

It won’t be easy to go and say goodbye to your friends or your significant other, but the least you can do is to get organized for the move and prepare for the separation. Make this period more bearable and look forward to being with each other again in the years to come. And remember, if it’s real love, there’s no such thing that can break you up.

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