Moving in together after being in a long-distance relationship can be rough. There is a lot to adjust to. When you are visiting the other person in a long-distance relationship, it is treated as more of a vacation. You have not seen the person in a while and you are incredibly excited to see them. They want you to have a good time, are much more tolerant of you making a mess, and usually, have a lot of fun activities planned. You have had great conversations while being apart, but have not been able to be as intimate with them for some time, and therefore want to spend most of your time with each other. So before you decide to move in together, take the following things into consideration.
Should you move in together?
This is a difficult decision. Moving in together can make a lot of sense in some cases, but it just doesn’t work for everybody. It makes sense if you don’t want to rush into getting married, but also don’t want to have to wait several years before you can be together. Or if you want to find out if you can live with the person, and get most of the kicks out of the relationship before deciding to take it a step further.
You shouldn’t move in together if your relationship isn’t getting serious, and you simply want or need a roommate to help split the bills. In this case, you should have a platonic friend as a roommate. If you do not have the intention of making a relationship work, it probably won’t, and moving will turn out to be a very tedious, expensive, and unnecessary step. If you do move in together, you shouldn’t take into consideration the fact that breaking up would cause both of you a lot of trouble, and you should put effort into the relationship to make it work. If you do have problems, you will need to work them out, and you should work them out with the person you love.
Moving in Together is a Big Change and a Lot of Work
When you move in together, there is a ton of things to do and lots of expenses to deal with. Moving can be extremely stressful, and it is important to keep your cool and start your it off on the right foot. Moving in with your partner, you will find that you spend less time on the phone, spend more time with your partner, and spend more time doing chores. Figuring out many of the issues before you move in together can make the transition much smoother.
Before moving in together, you should talk with your partner about chores. Dividing up the chores such as cooking, washing the dishes, cleaning the bathroom, buying groceries, taking out the trash, cleaning up your desk, cleaning the fridge, cleaning the microwave, wiping counters, car maintenance, etc is crucial for a successful life together. You can try to divide the chores before moving in together, or start by doing chores together and see which ones you prefer to do over the others. You need to come to an understanding when it comes to quality, deadlines, and what chores are going to get done and when. If you don’t, either one person will get stuck doing everything and resent the other person while doing them, or the chores simply won’t get done. By making a list and taking turns picking chores, you will know which chores the other person has done and not feel like you are the only person doing them.
Also, try to openly discuss what you have done in the past and what you are comfortable with. Say, if you have done laundry before, know how to run the dishwasher, dryer, washer, and how good you are with cars, you might want to stick to those chores. To prevent feelings of resentment toward the other person when you feel like you are doing everything, it can help to do chores at the same time. Also, it is important to tell the other person that you feel this way so that you don’t let things ferment for a long time. If you think of your decision to move as a sacrifice, then you may start holding it against the other person. However, if you are personally choosing to be with them, you are accepting the fact that you have free will and are doing something for your benefit or to benefit the relationship, and you should do your best not to let that come in between you. You never know what opportunities will open up once you relocate.
The sleep schedule
Try to sleep at the same, time so that you do not wake up your partner. Being woken up from sleep can be incredibly frustrating. It can be challenging to be on the same schedule. However, if you can, make a schedule and try to stick to it. You should both try to get eight hours of sleep a night, so that you can be happy and healthy.
Communicating with your partner
In a long distance relationship, communication seemed easy. You had great conversations over the phone. However, it can be challenging to communicate face to face. You can try talking on the phone (when you are away) or talking through issues through instant messaging. It is incredible how much easier it can be to say things when you are using less “present” forms of communication.
Do things together
You moved in together to spend more time together. You should try to find activities that you can both enjoy. Try something new, such as learning a new sport, joining a club, getting involved in the community, etc
Stress from your relationship can be worse than stress at work. If you can’t be happy at home, you can not be happy at all. You should look forward to going home and seeing your partner. Therefore, you need to avoid fighting – divide the chores, resolve conflicts, and master all of the points brought up above. You are in control of how you react to things. You can get slightly emotional or very emotional. Try to manage your stress levels and not get too worked up over small issues.