The Questions to Ask Yourself Before Moving for a Relationship

November 13, 2018 / Posted in Before the Move
Michael Vaughan

Moving through the Bay Area, Michael works as a freelance writer in the moving and transportation industry.

There’s a good chance that you or someone you care about has been involved in a long-distance relationship. In the era of the Internet, many people have developed romantic interests on the other side of the country or the world, and some are even thinking of moving for a relationship.

Are you really ready to move away for your significant other?
People who manage to maintain a long—distance relationship usually move in together.

Since maintaining a long-distance romance is usually harder than it first seems, let’s look at some questions you need to ask yourself and things you should want to do before relocating. After all, love is one of the most important reasons to move.


Have You Ever Moved Before?

Before you commit to this huge step, you need to know what you’re getting yourself into. If you’ve never moved before, you need to consider that this could be very overwhelming. It’s more than just packing your boxes, shipping a car and changing the address. This long-distance move might mean making a new lifestyle, in a different culture, or city, and with a different set of friends, are you sure you want that?

couple looking at a notepad
Do you think you could really get used to living with someone?

Is It Really Love — Or Just a Game?

Before thinking about hiring relocation services, you need to know what it’s like sharing a house with this person. The last thing you want is to realize, after a month or two, that this wasn’t true love but more of an infatuation with someone. Try your luck by visiting for 5-7 days first, just to test this bond in real-life conditions.

a couple unpacking boxes
Unpacking is the first step towards your new life.

Ask a Ton of Questions — Before You Actually Move

Before setting off to move for a fresh start, ask the people with the same experience these questions:

  • ‘What was it like when you first moved there?’
  • ‘How many months or years have you two been together until then?’
  • ‘How do you manage to maintain a partnership when there’s no privacy?’
  • ‘How are you going to manage work and private life?’.

Compare that person’s responses to your own, and do some online research beforehand to check how ready you are for this chapter.

a couple hugging
Have a honest talk before the relocation

Is It Better to Wait a Bit More?

If the questions that we suggested haven’t given you confidence, don’t panic straight away. You should listen to your heart when it comes to love, but when it comes to relocation, listen to your gut. If your gut instinct has its reservations about this, or you have any second thoughts, it’s best that you give this expedition some more time.

a dolly carrying a house-looking box
Moving and renting your first apartment together is always exciting.

Is It Better to Get Married Before Moving for a Relationship?

This relocation does not mean you need to get married first for it to work. What’s more, in the last few decades, many advise that it’s actually better to live with your significant other for several months, before making a larger, more serious commitment.

happy couple looking at each other
Don't rush to get married.

What Will Your New Life Be Like?

If your primary reason to move was to spend more time with your loved one, you might be in for a shock. Regardless of how long you’ve been together, or how much time you normally spend in each other’s company, this is a whole different ball-game. No matter how much you like this person or enjoy being together, sharing your living space can be exhausting. It may even cause some problems or casual resentment toward some of their habits.

a couple holding hands
Are you ready to spend entire days with your significant other?

Keep Your Privacy and Play It Safe

Like it or not, sharing a roof together can make couples rusty. You get privy to each other’s routine, bad habits, small bickerings, and other things that might spoil the initial romance. The best way to avoid problems that come with familiarity is to try and keep some of that for yourself. Insist on your bathroom privacy, those little rituals of getting ready, and be just a tad mysterious. Privacy is important even in serious relationships that have grown into living together.

a house in the suburbs
After the trial period, you can start decorating the house.

Make Sure You’re Doing it for the Right Reasons — Not for the Money

Many relationships ended quickly after the couples moved in together. That is because living together is the biggest test that many relationships fail to pass. Another thing is that not everyone is in a relationship for the right reasons. So make sure you and your partner are on the same page and that you two have been dating long enough so you know his or her true colors.

We know that for those in love, it is sometimes hard to think clearly, but you have to be sure that your partner is with you not because of career or money. Because it is not going to work. Many relationships failed because one partner was not fully committed, and eventually someone is going to get a broken heart.

person signing a contract
Are you two going to have a shared bank account?

Relocating Abroad for Love

In case you and your partner are not in the same country, we understand why moving to another state for a relationship might seem like a good idea. However, in these kinds of relationships, the situation is a bit more complicated. Being in a different city is one thing, you can see each other more often, especially if you are in a city that is not too far away.

But when one person is abroad, you can spend hours online, but it is not the same as when that person is in the same city. Dating is another thing you are missing when you two are in different states, and some people do not realize how and why dating is essential. While couples are dating, they learn so much about each other, and their love is on another level.

If you are thinking about making that big decision and you want to go abroad, do not rush and think about it. Talk to your parents at home, with people who know you, think about your career, will it be easy to start over, do you have enough money, think about finding a job and building a good career abroad, do you even want to live in that specific country, or do you just care about that person. Ask friends for advice, parents, anyone who can give you advice on your career, so you can make the decision easier.

a couple talking
Finding some time to be together and remember why you started all this.

What If Your Relationship Failed?

If you have a fear that your bond might break due to remoteness, a move isn’t the answer to that. Your primary reason for relocation should be love, not fear of losing it. We know that every relocation can be stressful, but do not jeopardize your health over it. Many people worry too much, or they get anxious about relocation, which is understandable, but still, your health should be your priority.

So before you start thinking about everything that might go wrong, and risking your health for no reason, let’s check out the list of advantages because we are sure there is so many of them:

Finding your love nest

You will definitely have a new retreat, your own little piece of heaven that you share with your loved one.

Finding a dream job

This move might mean you will need to give up your old dead-end job and give you enough courage to look for a dream job you’ve always wanted, in a different state.

Finding new things you love about the world

This one is pretty self-explanatory, but nothing makes you appreciate life more than relocating and having to explore the new environment.

a couple dancing
Be open to new opportunities.

Embark on a Life-Changing Journey

If you and your significant other are not currently sharing a home, it can all change soon, because there are so many options and possibilities that there are no reasons to miss them. We all have a load of questions and doubts that bother us before the big move. Hopefully, this guide will be enough to show you the essentials of relocating to be closer to your partner, help save you some heartache, and give you the courage to embark on a life-changing journey.

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